Because I deserve it....

Mental Health Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month if you have not already guessed it from the countless posts people have been putting on social media. So I figured, why don't I bring in some other people to talk about their mental health, and share you their stories, instead of me talking about my journey all of the time (except this post is still me talking... because I have a lot to say and I talk too much). First of all, that gets boring, second of all, I am not the only person that struggles with my mental health. 

There are so many people like you and I that struggle with the very thing that society makes us struggle with. Almost every person reading this right now... Yes that means YOU. Struggles with some sort of mental health issue. But why? We are all created so beautifully, and when we are younger we are supposed to absorb life, enjoy life, and appreciate everything. So... What on earth happened?

Society (this can be media, famous people, friends, adults, parents, family, bullies, the hidden rules of life, anyone who can influence you) has influenced the way you think, act, and talk. Honestly, society is the air you are breathing right now. It is blocking you from being the best that you can be, because we are all guilty of being influenced. 

All over social media, YouTube, Magazines, TV, movies, just everywhere has this one phrase that I do not understand. We are all guilty of saying it, and believing it. I will tell you right now I am guilty of this way of thinking. What is it?

The "Because I deserve it..." Phenomenon

                                                  

First of all.... what even is this? "Oh I ate so clean today so I am going to have a tub of Halo Top ice cream because it is only 320 Calories for the whole thing and it is UNBELIEVABLE! I can eat healthy all day and eat this ice cream since I ate so clean and now I deserve this PROTEIN FILLED treat. BOOOOO YAAAAAA!!!"

What.....

First of all... we do not eat food, because we deserve food. We eat food to nourish our bodies. We eat food to survive. We eat food to live healthy, and be able to operate our daily bodily tasks. So... do we DESERVE any kind of food? No. We NEED food. We WANT to treat ourselves once in a while. So, no, we do not DESERVE food.

The definition of deserve is to be worthy of, suitable, to fit.

So, you want to tell be that you are worthy to eat, because you ate clean all day? What even is that language! Also, if we are using that language, is that Ice cream really what you NEED? Or are you addicted to sugars, and really you are tired of eating so clean, so you need to ruin your nutrition by adding ice cream to the mix. OH BUT WAIT! It is O K to eat Halo Top, because of all of that protein and the hardly any calories inside. That is all that matters. 

The truth is, this kind of attitude has brought me to my STILL unhealthy relationship with food. I went from not eating anything, to slowly start incorporating food into my diet. I realized eating was good for you, and subsequently this is what I need to do. But, I did not necessarily LIKE it. I did like, along with everyone else, the poisonous fast food joints though. So, if I am too lazy too cook, and too anxious to eat, what am I going to do? I am going to damn well go out of my house for 10 minutes to acquire some McChicken and fries because... the addictive chemicals in my brain are ON FIRE! And I also HAVE to eat. In the midst of all of this, I LOST all the control I seriously thought I had, and ended up over filling my body with things it does not want or need because I HAD to eat. 

The thought of "I DESERVE EVERYTHING" is doing the opposite of what it intends. This started as a "I have done so much good that I should be able to do this or that because I deserve it". But we use this phrase way too loosely. We take advantage of it, because society takes advantage of EVERYTHING. The more you say "I deserve it" the more we are doing things just because we deserve something in the end. That is not what life is about.

You did not take a nap because "you deserve it", you did not stay in bed all day because "you deserve it", you did not buy yourself flowers because "you deserve it". Who are we to say we are WORTHY OF SOMETHING WE NEED OR MAKES US HAPPY? Who are we to QUESTION what we do or do not deserve? Who are we to JUDGE OUR OWN WORTH. Really, that is what this phrase comes down to in the end. I am going to judge my worth based on this. You do not need to judge your worth, because you are already worthy enough for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is in your life. 

                                          

If you need a nap, go take one, because your body needs to rest. If you want to stay in bed all day, because you have done so much of GO GO GO GO this week, then take that day of bodily rest. If you want to have flowers, because they are pretty and they make you happy (AND YOU DO NOT NEED NO SIGNIFICANT OTHER TO GET YOU SOME) than go get them! But, erase that "I deserve it" attitude, because you already deserve everything. Do not determine if you are worthy to eat a cookie based on what you ate today. If you want a cookie, go eat a cookie, because it brings joy to your life. 

Live intentionally, use every day as something you will be happy with, because in an instant life can be taken away. Live with pure joy and happiness. Not because you "deserve something".

Have a happy, joyful, and light filled day, because you ARE WORTHY to have one. Do not determine whether or not you deserve it.