The Broken Home

As a child, I used to look at families who were broken. The families with divorced parents. Drunk parents. Absent parents. I used to feel bad for those families. As a child, I used to think, "I feel so bad". Unfortunately, as a child, not only was I naive, but I was not seeing the whole picture of my own family.

When I was younger, people used to think that I had the perfect family. The family that supported their children, throws parties all the time, and is truly successful. I have seen real true family relationships. It was not until I fully saw how a true family acts, that my eyes were opened. All of the missing pieces, were starting to become evident.

There are families out there, that even though their parents are there with their children, they are still absent. They are absent in true parenthood. Absent in true loving and caring. The Maslow needs are none existent in these households. In these families, the hurt is the worst, because it is behind closed doors. 

The parties are a facade. The representations are untrue. While on the outside, the family looks connected, they are more unconnected than those of families with separated parents. In families like this, the parents are separated, but only the children see the separation. This creates a very volatile, and toxic home life for these children.

Kids from homes like these have three options. One, through all the fighting, they hold their ground, and never adapt to their parents ways. Two, they fully take in their parents actions, continue the cycle of abuse, and never change. Three, which I align with, start to take on the cycle and copy the behaviors, only to realize that you never want to be like your broken family. You change yourself for your future. You take your stand against the toxicity. You vocally say what is wrong when it is wrong. You defend yourself. You become your advocate. 

In the broken home, there is the melancholy truth that the people within the home are broken as well. The brokenness travels through their bones, and is carried into the outside world. The people who reside in options one and three, mend themselves. They look at themselves in the mirror and say no. They disregard all the negativity, and know that they are greater than that. 

If you come from the showcase home, know that you are not alone. There are families that are out there who put on that smile in the world, but behind closed doors their mothers are having constant mental breakdowns. Manipulation is everywhere. Their parents are calling them names, and being bullies. The word "not enough"is being thrown around like the automatic bodily function of breathing air. 

You are strong, be strong. Take those volatile behaviors, and turn them into something beautiful. 

Wait. Wait, because God put you into this situation, so that you can have a beautiful family in the future.

Breathe. Breathe, and know that this is temporary. Just because you live in a place does not make it home. Home is true comfort and love. Appreciation. Breathe, because your true home is not far away.

Smile. Smile, because deep down, you know something beautiful is out there for you. Smile because you know that all the maltreatment is going to make you know how to react and be in the future.

Speak. Speak, because you have a voice. Do not allow the abuse and bullying to control your being.

Pray. Pray, and hope that one day, your current family will treat you with true familial values.

If you come from a showcase home, you are not alone. There is no need to worry, because one day is coming. Your future is coming. You may feel alone now. But, you will not be alone forever. 

Use your voice. Mend yourself. Learn your lessons. Change for the better.